Stepping Stones

August 2004

Friday, July 07, 2006


My mileage marker

Let the cliche begin...

I too have a post involving the movie Filed of Dreams.

Right there someone stopped reading and surfed on.

You see everyone sets their own stages in life. Everyone has invented these markers for their life, to be clicked every year that a cake rolls out with candles on it. Now, some of these are pretty generic ones, like 18, or 21. 18 of course has fallen to the wayside for my generation since military service isn't drafting. But turning 18 use to be a huge deal. Now it is some half ass means for some teenage boys or girls to call themselves adults.
My news flash. I just got to adulthood. I'm 31. Thats not a bad thing, not a good thing either. but I can now look at myself in the mirror and honestly see a man looking back. It took until I was 30+ and had unloaded some silly shit baggage from my life to do it. But that doesn't stop the internal monolouge of seeing the markers as my life travels by them.
But back to where the entry was. So some of these markers are generic, the ones that because of the rules we live by we have ingrained in us like, 16 and 21 some of the easiest, the rights of passage when it comes to driving and drinking. It is the rest of them that begin to get personal for people.

Of course people place these markers on themselves. They decide when and where they should be in their lives. And generally these markers come from what they know, their family, their friends and what has influenced them.

Status quo so far huh?

Now I will say I can see some of them, a lot of people are oblivious to them. And since I live in the south, I get to see some and their disastrous results. Like why so many women or girls I should say, marry so young in the south. Why they think that their marker for marriage falls so early in their lives. Is it their parents? Their friends? But I see now, more and more, the allure of that marriage has gone, and they are divorced some times with children sometimes without... now armed with a better idea of what they want and just a desire of where they want to be and at when in their life.

I have mine too. Not marriage, because for whatever reason I have never really cared about marriage or kids. If it happens great, wonderful, but I'm not making any Vegas bets on the by this, that or the other date or point in my life.

The markers that scare me are the ones you forget you set upon yourself. The ones that at the dawn of their relization you get a dose of a cold water slap. I think for a lot of guys the first one that sneaks up on you is the one in the mid to late 20's.
The one where you realize, whatever professional sports fantasy you had... is over, your not going to make the majors, not going to hit the pro tour, and being and MVP in the NFL, NBA, or NHL is just through.
You realize it when your sitting there watching sports center, and they talk about the retirement of a running back, who is out of his prime, done for ... up on the block the next camp, and looking to be a mentor for the rookie who was just drafted. Generally the old wise pro, is 28 maybe in his 30's.
Thats when the biological clock dings. Sports is over. I'm a spectator.

I haven't had a marker sneak up on me in a while. I have generally seen them coming. I saw one while watching Field of Dreams. It happened right in the begining of the movie.

He's 36, new father and about to become a farmer.

So I have until 36 to take up farming or knock someone up. After that, I just reset my marker and move on.


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