6 things about me and the blogging I have been wanting to do.
- My mental conversations are boring
Especially when I'm driving. I talk to myself, and generally it is a lot of pretend conversations that I might have with people. 90% of which are boring mundane subjects Even worse is when in my head, while watching sitcoms or dramas, I imagine the conversations that would have subverted the plot. Like if they would have just told her that he was going, nothing else would have happened. So I have boring conversations in my head. I had a couple as I drove to Huntsvegas last Monday night.
Been on a little roller coaster of sorts lately. Strange how when you stay on an even keep for a while, that when the water gets a little choppy, how much you catch yourself reacting to it.
I got to see my uncle inducted into the Huntsville Madison County Athletic Hall of Fame
. IT was a nice honor. And I can't believe the turnout. When I was first told about this, I was thinking of a little ceremony, some handshaking, the standard chicken box free dinner, and lots of fottball stories. Instead we got a black tie affair, with over 800 people, and a nice dinner to boot. Amoung those 800 plus, over 120 people bought tickets in my Uncles section. It was quite an outpouring of respect from people he knows, not to mention the honor itself in that many people, paying to just sit for a couple of hours to shake his hand once. I was very proud to be there. Plus it was a little family reunion of sorts as so many family members showed up. It was very nice.
- I still tend to get down on myself regardless of compliments
Throughout the night of course I saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in a whil, met some people that I usually only see at the friday night High School games, and was even approached by a mom for a set up with her daughter who is a lawyer here in town. Throughout it all I got a lot of compliments on my weight loss, but I still battle the self appreciation. I just hope one of these days I will be happy with myself. I think I will, I hope I will, And for the most part, most of time during the day I am .... but that self deprication is still there.
- I hardly ever go the extra mile at work, but I always want too.
I can get really down about how I work. I know I do a good job. I know I am a company man, and I honestly enjoy what I do. But than lazyiness rears up, and a lot of little things I just leave on the table. I think a lot of people approach there jobs just like I do. But then again. I don't really care to be like a lot of people. And it is always the the ones who go the extra distance, that usually reap the bigger rewards. So what holds me back? Not sure. Laziness is big on my list. But it is not so much laziness, as also a desire to do something else after 8 hrs of work. But work is work, and you have to do it.
I have worked a lot lately though. I have put in the extra time to make sure the jobs have been getting done. The quality of the work though is not where it should be, but lately with the deadlines rolling through, it has been more impotant to get the work out the door, quality has been taking a backseat. Which could be due to that fact that I am sitting typing a longwinded blog entry rather than going that extra mile ...
so I don't feel to bad about spending the time, especially when I haven't had a lot lately, doing something I enjoy.
But my little rollercoaster of sorts, has been ups and downs, especially in my head. Why the rollercoaster. Well because Worked slammed into this week. Fmaily slammed into this week. and the lack of doing things that i like, or following through with things I want to do slammed into. None of which were bad things in the subjective... but they were things and when they all came together over a few short days I was up and down.
- One of my deepest fears is that I won't be the man I want to be.
Who that is? I am still figuring it all out.