I can be an ass. I mean really an ass of epic proportions. It is a skill I honed as a child because of my mother. Why mom, well because I use to just beat the crap out of my little sister, then mom had to go and show her how to use her knee in close combat fighting... since that day. I went to the verbal attack. I perfected it. The look, the chide remark, the well placed dumbass and tap to the head. I had dozens of moves I implored on my sister. I can still call upon my fountain of assiness when needed.
This brings me to another turn in the this assy tale. How I am come to speak of this story I will explain first.
Becasue apparently I can't follow directions. I was memed to post six wierd, strange, obtuse facts about myself. Instead I posted six things in a long winded blog. Yea I missed the point. So I was pondering this while talking to Skillzy and Sarah the other night, and our conversation drifted back to my "there is such a thing as bad blowjobs" comment I made to Skillzy a while back. So I told my story of the bad blowjob, and the followup ass head move I made later. That move earned me more than a few cold stares at the level of an ass I can be. But as I said... it is a craft I honed as child and when in need, when I feel I am in a corner I strike with all my assiness. It can be leathal.
The story that gets me mean stares and still to this day makes me slightly ashamed.. was ...
A buddy of mine had begun dating an ex of mine. A recent fresh from the stack ex. No colder than 3-4 months. I was pissed about it. Guy ego and all. Plus at the time in my life I was just pissed in general, and really an ass... no excuses now, there was some heavy shit weighing on me, but it still doesn't excuse my behavior. So I had come to find out about the ongoing romance, between my friend and my ex. And low and behold, my group of friends and I are all at the apartment one night watching movies and what not, when my friend and my ex come back from a date. Now I had never seen them together, and she hadn't seen me since we split so it was awkward to say the least. To cut the tension, my friend quickly and quietly escorted her back to his room, past all of us. That's when I said it.
"Hey R... watch out she gives really bad blow jobs!"
I didn't say it to R and in front of my friends discretly for some poor guy humor moment, I said it with spite and malice and was going for a cutting blow. It had the effect I was going for. They picked up there pace and got to the room in double time.
I felt like an ass about it and still, especially when I think back on how I said it, and the mean I was trying to inflict. Just pure evil right there.
Plus I got to title a post with the greatest evil guy ever ... Ricardo RULZZ!!